Chapter 1
Christinithia lived in a world where she was ridiculed for who she was. In school, she failed almost every class and did not participate at all. Her mom had enrolled her in tutoring in hopes of finding her "cure". Christinithia had no friends except for her journal. She expressed what she felt and what she faced in her life. She would walk to the beach and write while she listened to the sounds of the waves hitting the sand. Sometimes, she wrote stories to appease her unhappiness. She did not see a sense in her life, and she knew that others did not either.
Her classmates imparted openly that she was outlandish. But Christinithia was used to people teasing her because she was different.
"I have always been so sad, all my life. I cannot ever remember being pert, even when Dad bought tickets to Disneyland," Christinithia wrote in her journal. "I am always tired, and nothing makes me excited anymore. I feel shiftless, such as a rock on the ocean floor. People say I am like a taint on a sheet, and I have to say, what if they’re right? Everyone else is a fish, swimming around excitedly in their own world. Me? I am nothing. The kids at school make fun of me a lot, but for the most part, they don’t even know I’m there. Other than my name being on the attendance, I really don’t belong at my school...At home, I am so lonely. I am right there, in the middle of my house with my mom, dad, and my brother, but I am not like them. I just want to close my door and stay in my room. "I want to be left alone, and not have nosey parents breathing down my neck all the time, or teachers looking at me like I am an alien or something. I did not think it was supposed to hurt this much; being alive. Why must I be the one that lives?"
* * *
“What?” she mumbled, not looking up from her difficult algebra problems.
“Your school is hosting a writing competition.”
“So? What does that have to do with me?”
“I think that you should enter it.”
Christinithia looked up, shocked. Her father was suggesting that she should enter a competition? Did she not say that she was worthless last week on the beach? Why should she believe in herself now? She was only a pitiful daughter, and would never bring honor to her family.
Dad seemed to be reading her mind, but he spoke now with-not rage-but encouragement. “You have your whole life ahead of you. Everything and anything is possible! Far from being worthless, you are precious and special. But you can vanquish the demons only when you yourself are convinced of your own worth.”
“Dad, I am like a piece of trash in the wind! You have never believed in me, nor has anyone else! You have become an overbearing monster. Even my own brother says I am calamitous. And I am conventional with anyone and everyone who has never delved into my soul and find out who I really am!”
He was in disbelief, and his words rose higher in sound. “The world is changing. You must rely on yourself. Go out there, and compete in the most difficult things. Create your own destiny! One day the world will see what you are truly made of. In spite of what your abusers would have had you believe, convince yourself that you have something within you precious and unique.”
And her dad left, leaving Christinithia to her very confused thoughts.
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