Admitting

Sometimes I feel like I can't be open with anyone but myself. Even then, the truth is at the back of my mind, where I push it away. Often, I am too afraid to admit things to myself. 


And it hurts me.

"Dear Crazy Redhead" Story Sample #3

Dear Maddy,


I know perfectly well who I am- and who you are.


I'm that guy who is always teased by his classmates, who goes blind the second his glasses come off, whose clothes are made fun of because their plaid and from the 1950s. Face it, Maddy, you need a better guy than me, one who actually looks cool, and who has all the girls climbing on him.


And you? You're that girl who refuses to express her voice, who is very shy and sweet. You're that girl who knows who to make someone laugh, but is too afraid to try. You're that girl who ceases to exist in her own world. You are destined to great things, but you are afraid to own the wings to help you fly.


I am still the weirdest kid in the class, drowning in a pool of worry, nausea, and fear for the bullies at school the next day.


My dad says I have great potential, but I never believe him- and I cease to believe in myself. He says I will be accepted into one of the best colleges in the state, and he is the one who will choose my future. I have absolutely no say in where I go or what I will become. I know Dad knows best, but sometimes I feel like he makes all the decisions for me.


So maybe I might be the one who just goes with the flow. But I hate that flow.

From,

Crazy Redhead

"The Journey to Home" Story Sample #2

Chapter 2

I end up in a big white building. From wall to wall, cages are lined up, one on top of each other. I notice that when the man enters the room, the whole room seems to stiffen. The dogs cower in fear, and huddle into the corner of their cage. I am about to ask where I was, but they just shake their heads, warning me to stay silent.

Their eyes are sad and depressed. One beagle stands out to me. His whole posture is despondent, several scars from whipping along his back and head. He limps slightly, which makes me suspect broken ribs. As soon as he spots the man, he lets out a low, helpless moan that only I can hear. When he sees me, his whole face tells me, “Run. Run now! You don’t belong here.”

The officer places me right on top of this beagle. Quickly, the man runs out of the room, coughing, as if to malinger. Immediately, the dogs yelp in cheer. But the beagle remains indifferent. I know what he is thinking. “We are done for. What is the point of celebrating the absence of our enemy if we are still trapped in this cages, forced to starve and die silently, with no one to care?”

I ask quietly to him, “What is this place?”

For several seconds, he says nothing. Finally, he answers, “This is where you will not survive. This is where you die in your sleep, alone and painless. See this scars?” I nod. “They came from that man who carried you. There is no good in him. You better escape here, man. But, who am I, to lift your spirit? You cannot escape. I have been here for many, many years.”

“But,” I start, “if there was a chance-”

He growls angrily. “There is no way out! Stop your fantasy, man. Just stay silent, and maybe they will not beat you up, but there are no guarantees.”

There is a loud laughter from the distance. It mocked me. It was happy, cheerful, magical. Why am I the one in misery, while others could easily be happy all the time?

The dog simpers ridiculously. “Hear them? They are having fun over there, talking about their achievements in the last few minutes, which by the way, includes you. Constantly, their yells about their vaunted captures are broadcasted for the whole world to hear.” He stops smiling. “They’re having a good old laugh, aren’t they?”

“What is your name?” I ask.

        “I do not have one.”

“Well, of course you do. I was born with one, and so were you.”

“Really?” he said, pretending to be interested. “Kid, let me set something straight. My name neither concerns you or this place. They plunder everything you have. Your family, your life, your dignity, even your name. I hate it. I need to get out!” 

There was a pause. “Face it, man,” he continues. “We are all trapped here, abused, with no one to know or care. As soon as you are here, you are a waif, a stray. You no longer own yourself. They own you.”

“I can attest to that,” says a random voice.

I jump. A Dalmatian, is speaking to us. He was big, covered in dots, and yet, he is skinny. He alone can fit in the cage. It just showed that he was never fed. In fact, I can make out his ribs standing out. I have a feeling he was listening the whole time.

“The enormity!” he calls. 

“Look, I do not have time to be listening to these stories,” I state hurriedly. “How do I get out?”

There is a moment of silence, then laughter. However, it sounds bitter and nasty, disbelieving and untrue.

Finally, the Dalmatian speaks. “You want to escape, kid? Too bad. No way out.”

“I do not believe that!” I yell.

“Actually,” another dog utters, “There is a weak spot in the wall. The trouble is, you are trapped. That is an impediment.”

With tremendous effort, I bump my body against my cage, causing it to fall over. The door of the cage springs open, allowing me to be free. Several gasp in horror.

“What have you done?” they scream. “You will get us all in trouble!”

“Then come with me!” I shout. “We will all escape!”

Following my example, they manage to tip their cages over, and finding the specific spot in the wall, found freedom. As they all run out, yelping in excitement, I notice the beagle still in his cage. 

“Aren’t you coming?” I ask.

He shakes his head. “I wish to die peacefully, maybe even take responsibility for your actions.”

“That is not fair!”

“Life is not fair sometimes, kid!” he growls. 

“You had nothing to do with it.”

“So?” he teases haughtily.

“So, I do not want you to be whipped, killed, or tortured just because I wanted freedom.”

“Kid, with old age comes sacrifice. An empty room with fallen cages is suspicious. I must stay here and accept the consequences. However, this will not not go  silently. Officers with guns the size of your body will come looking. Avoid them, but do not fight. Understand?” I really do, but I do not want to leave him. 

“Don’t you see?” he urges. “It dovetails. They see me here, and immediately think I am the one who caused the riot. I am killed,” he says, and I shudder, “and they come to find you, leaving this place deserted. You wait, and steal the food in the fridge here. But not now,” he says hastily, watching me look longingly in the doorway. 

He motions toward the gap in the hole, my pathway to freedom. And suddenly, I do not want to escape. If that means leaving the dog who is accepting my punishment, I will not move.

Angrily, he exclaims, “Go on, kid. I will be fine, you’ll see.”

After several minutes of arguing, I finally leave. Looking back, he nods, and I take off, leaving behind the only one who cared for me. 

"Give Your Heart a Break" by Demi Lovato

The day I first met you
You told me you'd never fall in love
But now that I get you
I know fear is what it really was


Now here we are
So close yet so far
Haven't I passed the test
When will you realize
Baby, I'm not like the rest


Don't wanna break your heart
Wanna give your heart a break
I know you're scared it's wrong
Like you might make a mistake
There's just one life to live
And there's no time to wait, to waste
So let me give your heart a break, give your heart a break
Let me give your heart a break, your heart a break
Oh yeah, yeah


On Sunday you went home alone
There were tears in your eyes
I called your cell phone, my love
But you did not reply


The world is ours if we want it
We can take it if you just take my hand
There's no turning back now
Baby, try to understand


Don't wanna break your heart
Wanna give your heart a break
I know you're scared it's wrong
Like you might make a mistake
There's just one life to live
And there's no time to wait, to waste
So let me give your heart a break, give your heart a break
Let me give your heart a break, your heart a break


There's just so much you can take
Give your heart a break
Let me give your heart a break, your heart a break
Oh yeah, yeah


When your lips are on my lips
And our hearts beat as one
But you slip out of my fingertips
Every time you run, whoa-oh-whoa-oh-oh


There's just one life to live
And there's no time to wait, to waste
So let me give your heart a break
(Let me give your heart a break)


'Cause you've been hurt before
I can see it in your eyes
You try to smile it away, some things you can't disguise
Don't wanna break your heart
Maybe, I can ease the ache, the ache
So let me give your heart a break, give your heart a break
Let me give your heart a break, your heart a break

"Falling for You" by Colbie Caillat

I don't know but...
I think I maybe
fallin' for you
Dropping so quickly
Maybe I should
keep this to myself

Waiting 'til I..
know you better
I am trying..
Not to tell you..
But I want to..

I'm scared of what you'll say
So I'm hiding..
what I'm feeeling..
But I'm tired of
Holding this inside my head

I've been spending all my..time
Just thinking about ya
I don't know what to do
I think I'm fallin' for you

I've been waiting all my.. life
and now i found ya
I dont know what to do
I think I'm falling for you...
I'm falling for you...

As I'm standing here
And you hold my hand
Pull me towards you
and we start to dance

All around us
I see nobody
Here in silence
It's just
you and me

Ooh, I just can't take it..
My heart is racing..
Emotions keep spinning out...

"Eyes Open" by Taylor Swift

The tricky thing
Is yesterday we were just children
Playing soldiers
Just pretending
Dreaming dreams with happy endings
In backyards, winning battles with our wooden swords
But now we've stepped into a cruel world
Where everybody stands and keeps score

Keep your eyes open

Everybody's waiting for you to breakdown
Everybody's watching to see the fallout
Even when you're sleeping, sleeping
Keep your eyes open
Keep your eyes open
Keep your eyes open

So here you are, two steps ahead and staying on guard
Every lesson forms a new scar
They never thought you'd make it this far
But turn around (turn around), oh they've surrounded you
It's a showdown (showdown) and nobody comes to save you now
But you've got something they don't
Yeah you've got something they don't
You've just gotta keep your eyes open

Keep your feet ready
Heartbeat steady
Keep your eyes open
Keep your aim locked
The night goes dark
Keep your eyes open

"Dear Crazy Redhead" Story Sample #2

Dear Crazy Redhead,


I realize now that you know who I am. I mean, after all, how many Maddies do you know?


I consider the options I have. We can talk like normal, civilized people. But I think we both know that we are neither of those things. More like crazy, disturbed people.


Don't you think love is complicated? I mean, you love that guy who doesn't love you back. What do you do then? Cry? Stay silent for the rest of your life?


 I always think about the future. Who I will marry, who I will have the first kiss with. Don't you? I know, I'm still that girl who avoids the teacher's gaze, who never raises her hand, and always rushes by the laughing people who just told a funny joke. Right now, I still worry about the girls who always make fun of my clothes, or the janitor who is my best friend. Yeah, I'm a loner.


You probably still don't know me, of course. But as I continue writing to you, I realize the other ways of communications. Email, text, but certainly not mail. That is considered illegal here at our school. Of course, my whole life seems illegal to those who don't know me.


I wish that wishing star would appear in the sky one day. That way, those bullies would stop staring at me, making me feel violated and insecure. If only.


But maybe you are my wishing star.

Love from,

Maddy 

"A Journey to Home" Story Sample

Chapter 1

I shake my mane for what felt like the thirtieth time. I am tired, wet, starving, bruised, and beaten in several places along my body. Sure, I am a big dog, but I feel as though I had lost several pounds in my trip, and as skinny as a twig. You could almost describe my appearance as forlorn, but inside I am still the steadfast tough dog that I always was. 

What was my purpose? I had no idea. All I know is that I am “strolling” along in the rain. No, not just a light drizzle, but a pouring of water buckets on my head. I can barely make out distant figures through the fog, and what I have seen since I set foot on the road was a bolt of lightning, which I was lucky enough to be electrocuted with (Thanks, Mother Nature).

How did I come to be here, lost in the streets, where a car could hit me, and I wouldn’t know or feel the pain? Honestly, I couldn’t tell you. Well, maybe I could.

* * *

My owners sometimes “forgot” to feed me, which left me starving some nights. I was extremely thirsty because every day they dumped me outside the backyard with no food or water. I had no collar, leash, or even toys to occupy myself with. All my boredom was put into a single piece of fabric I had found in the trash several years ago. They made wry jokes about my skinny appearance, which I noticed they never realized it was all their fault.

Finally, I had had enough of the way they vilified me. As soon as the kids and their parents were out of the house, I snuck under the loose part in the metal fence, and ran towards our neighbors, the forest. I never looked back, and poof! I was gone from their lives forever. Or, at least that’s what I thought at the time.

* * *

      Once I had exit the forest and onto the road, I am on my way to happiness. I have to adapt from the soft forest floor to the hard concrete, but my paws are telling me that I am almost there. However, my brain has no idea where I am going.

Just then, a pair of feet stops my path. I peer up, ready to bear my sharp teeth and continue on my way. But the eyes paralyze my heart. They are dangerous, ready to kill anything that it laid upon. Unfortunately, I am the victim this time.

I attempt to tell the human to go away, but my voice falters, and falls silent. I have a foreboding that this man will not let me pass.

“I see you are loitering this road,” he states calmly, but forcefully. His voice is as dark as night, and judging from his scent, he hunts in the forest. He smells of leaves, dirt, sweat, and the foul stench of dead animal.

“It is imperative we hustle you out of here,” he continues, and I noticed that his eyes were concerned now. “This place is not safe, not here, now now.”

A million questions spark like fireworks in my head. But I know, judging from the look on his face, I should say nothing.

I climb reluctantly onto his truck, feeling a foreboding that I will be sent back home. But in my heart, I know that is not an option. Home is where your parents put you to bed at night, or become choked up over your first day of school, or where they actually care about you. My family never did that to me, or even their own children. That is not home. And they are not my family. I left for that reason, and for that only. I would not “come quietly.” I would have to fight for my life. And I have a plan.

"A Dream to Never Stop Dreaming" End of Story Sample

Chapter 3

Annabeth kept to her promise and became an author. She wrote many books about never discouraging dreams, as sometimes they can destroy a soul. She received many awards for her books, and was famous. Her life ended the date she was born, was just by mere coincidence. 

The End

* * *

I speak now to the reader of this story. Dreams encourage you to do great things, just like the fictional character, Annabeth. But do not give up on your dreams. They are waiting for you to reach. Dreams have a purpose, and we all live alongside them. Never forget that all our dreams come true if we are those lucky people who have the courage to pursue them. What is not started today is never finished tomorrow. If we couldn’t dream, our lives would not mean anything anymore. So here comes that actual ending of this story: dream to never, ever, ever stop dreaming.

The End 

"If It Weren't For You" Poem

If it weren’t for you, I couldn’t fly

If it weren’t for you, I couldn’t dream

If it weren’t for you, I couldn’t love

If it weren’t for you, I couldn’t survive

If it weren’t for you, I couldn’t imagine

If it weren’t for you, I couldn’t feel

If it weren’t for you, I couldn’t be me

Thank God you are at my side

"You're the Reason" by Victoria Justice

You might be crazy
Have I told you lately
That I love you
You're the only reason that I'm not afraid to fly

And it's crazy
That someone could change me
Now no matter what it is I have to do
I'm not afraid to try
And you need to know that you're the reason, 
why!

If it was rainin' you would yell at the sun
Pick up the pieces when the damage is done
You say it's just another day in the shade
Look at what a mess we made

"The Story of Us" by Taylor Swift

I used to think one day we'd tell the story of us,
How we met and the sparks flew instantly,
People would say, "They're the lucky ones."
I used to know my place was a spot next to you,
Now I'm searching the room for an empty seat,
'Cause lately I don't even know what page you're on.


Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room and we're not speaking,
And I'm dying to know is it killing you like it's killing me, yeah?
I don't know what to say, since the twist of fate when it all broke down,
And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now.

Next chapter.

How'd we end up this way?
See me nervously pulling at my clothes and trying to look busy,
And you're doing your best to avoid me.
I'm starting to think one day I'll tell the story of us,
How I was losing my mind when I saw you here,
But you held your pride like you should've held me.

Oh, I'm scared to see the ending,
Why are we pretending this is nothing?
I'd tell you I miss you but I don't know how,
I've never heard silence quite this loud.


This is looking like a contest,
Of who can act like they care less,
But I liked it better when you were on my side.
The battle's in your hands now,
But I would lay my armor down
If you said you'd rather love than fight.
So many things that you wished I knew,
But the story of us might be ending soon.

"Fifteen" by Taylor Swift

'Cause when you're fifteen and somebody tells you they love you
You're gonna believe them
When you're fifteen and your first kiss
Makes your head spin 'round
But in your life you'll do things greater than
Dating the boy on the football team
But I didn't know it at fifteen

When all you wanted was to be wanted
Wish you could go back and tell yourself what you know now

Back then I swore I was gonna marry him someday
But I realized some bigger dreams of mine
And Abigail gave everything she had to a boy
Who changed his mind and we both cried

'Cause when you're fifteen and somebody tells you they love you
You're gonna believe them
And when you're fifteen, don't forget to look before you fall
I've found time can heal most anything
And you just might find who you're supposed to be
I didn't know who I was supposed to be at fifteen

"Dear Crazy Redhead" Story Sample

Dear Crazy Redhead,


I'm in love. With whom, you ask? Well, I'm in love with you. Big shocker, huh?


And you don't know who I am, but I am one of you. I'm that girl who sits in the corner of the classroom, the one that is too afraid to speak. I might lose my voice altogether! I'm that invisible girl who still uses the swings during recess, while the others sit back, chat, and relax. I realize, of course, that you still have no idea who I am. But I still know who you are.


You're that boy who has the funniest sense of humor, joyously jumps up when you score a point for the team, courageously makes a stand about unfair situations, and comforts those in distress. You're that one who always talks to the lunch lady like an old friend, and effortlessly gets straight A' just because. You have nerd glasses, but still makes them look fashionable. You wear the nerdiest clothes in school, but I admire you for that. You're that boy who is not influenced by the popular kids, the status quo, or the most challenging problems.


And, of course, you're the crazy redhead.

Love,

Maddy

"A Dream to Never Stop Dreaming" Story Sample #2

Chapter 2

         Years and days went by. Annabeth appeared on the honor roll in the eighth grade, went through that crazy jungle called high school, applied and was accepted in the best college in the state, was therecipient of the highest honor available for graduation, and went on to do “great, marvelous, wondrous, crazy things,” as she called it. And her mother was with her every step of the way.

Annabeth started a flourishing tour guide business, and learned all about Picasso in art school to build an art gallery. For two years, she had been in the army and navy, and managed to become an officer for both. However, she abdicated her position to start a family. Eventually, Annabeth married, and had three children. She encouraged each and every them to dream and to pursue their dreams, no matter how far-fetched they sounded or seemed. She did not embargo their dreams; on the contrary, she began a “crusade” to advance the idea of dreams in their neighborhood. And her mother was with her every step of the way.

One day, when Annabeth decided to visit her mother at her home, she received a pleasant surprise. She was standing at the porch, arms out wide, as if she had expected her all these years. They embraced warmly, each woman crying deeply into each other’s arms. 

“Well, Annabeth,” stated her mother, “evidently, I was wrong about you. You accomplished everything you said you would so many years ago. I am more proud of you than words can say. I am sorry things were so ungainly between us. My tenets were incomplete. Please forgive me.”

With tears falling down her face, Annabeth answered in a shaky voice, “I am sorry that I said all those mean things about you. Back then, I would have proclaimed it from the rooftop. But I realize now, that your discouragement actually strengthened me. Thank you.”

“You know, now that I think about it, that was a ruse, all of it. Just like you said, I only discouraged you and put you down because I knew that would make you stronger. I put on a good act, didn’t I?” Mom smiled mischievously.

“Don’t worry, you did nothing to deface my character or personality. But I still thank you for all your ‘encouragement.’” 

“I am just glad you did not become a mendicant like I thought you would.” 

“What?” Annabeth cried, obviously torn between humor and hurt.

But she saw her mother was laughing. “You are so serious. You need levity in your life sometimes. You should learn to have fun.”

Annabeth smiled. “Oh, Mother,” she sighed. 

A Wonderful Day at the Park

I actually took these pictures!!!

"A Dream to Never Stop Dreaming" Story Sample

Chapter 1

“Mom, I have big plans! I promise, I do. Maybe I will join the army or navy, and become an officer. I’m a really good leader, don’t you think? And you are able to travel the world and meet new people. Or maybe I will start my own business-an art gallery, probably-or a tour guide business! What about becoming an author so I can write about my adventures? Or-”

        “Child, if you don’t hush up, I will make you,” Mom snapped.

        “But Mom-”

        “That’s enough, I say! When I want nonsense said to me, I will personally give you a Babbling Beverage. Since I have not-”

        “Mom, when will you listen to me? I have dreams here that I want to accomplish, and you just stand there telling me to-”

        “Don’t you think there are who people can write better than you, Annabeth? And a tour guide business? You barely can tell Africa and Australia apart! Forget about the art gallery, you don’t even know who Picasso is!”

        “Who?” Annabeth wondered, confused.

        “Just stop dreaming, Annabeth, and start focusing on a real future. Your fallacies are nauseating me. Why don’t you take after me, and become an accountant?”

       “How can I hope to make you understand what I feel? This is pivotal to me. Well, who am I kidding? You don’t dream at all.”

       “I dream that you stop chattering nonsense,” Mom muttered causticly.

      Annabeth groaned in frustration, and stomped upstairs angrily.

      “Why won’t she understand me?” Annabeth yelled. “Mom is purposefully attempting to negate my wishes, hopes and dreams!”

     Meanwhile, in her kitchen, Mom was talking to herself quietly. “That girl is the complete opposite of tractable. Why can’t Annabeth just forget about her dreams and move on? Does she have to be so voracious about her life’s goals? Her brain has teemed with useless thoughts...I must rid of them as soon as possible.” Wringing her hands, she groaned in frustration.